The Real Reason You're Stuck

Oct 11

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Imagine for a moment what your life would be like if you could overcome your self-limiting beliefs. You would be able to free yourself from everything that keeps you stuck and prevents you from doing what you’ve always wanted to do. You could:

Engage in a meaningful ministry
Start a fitness program
Write a book or start a blog
Grow closer to God
Help others in need because you’re no longer consumed with your own perceived lack
Join a specific group you long to be a part of
Improve your relationships
Have the courage and confidence to go after your dream job
Finish your degree
Pay off your debts
Share your talents with others
Improve your life
Enjoy your life more because you’ve taken ownership of all of it (the good and the bad)
Live without fear
See obstacles as opportunities

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The biggest thing holding you back is you

As I’ve shared before, I have a natural bent towards anxiety and fear. Lately, I’ve realized that the biggest thing holding me back is me. It’s the lies I’ve believed about myself that keep me from pursuing what God has put on my heart.

Nothing is impossible with God. He’s not the one holding us back. The fears we allow to rule our thinking keep us from moving forward towards our goals, dreams, and desires.

Part of my summer reading by the pool and at the beach was Ruth Soukup’s new book, Do It Scared. In it, she describes seven fear archetypes and how to overcome them. It’s easy to pick out which ones describe me!

I learned so much about myself and what keeps me stuck while reading this book. It’s so freeing to realize I don’t need to be stopped by my:

Fear about what others will think
Fear of failure
Fear of doing it “wrong”
Fear of not being good enough
Fear of disappointing myself or others
Fear of the “what ifs” (imagining all the bad things that might happen)

I have a renewed confidence and desire to get out there and try even if it doesn’t go so well. Attempting something big I feel God has called me to do and learning from my mistakes creates a better life than sitting on the sidelines too timid to join the game.

I’m working on overcoming my self-limiting beliefs so I can be and do all that God has planned for me. Starting to blog again after a long break is a great first step in the right direction! What’s your next best step?

As Ruth is fond of saying, “Action is the antidote to fear.”

That’s why I got up early this morning to write. I pushed aside the fear of not having anything worth saying . . . the fear about what you’d think as you read this . . . the fear of doing it “wrong” . . . or not being “good enough”.

I’m finally unstuck and starting to move forward with the message God has given me to share, even though I will do it imperfectly and make plenty of mistakes along the way.

“Action is the antidote to fear.”
RUTH SOUKUP

What God-sized dream has He put on your heart? What’s keeping you from doing it?

If you want to finally overcome the self-limiting beliefs that are holding you back, keep reading!

The cost of lying to yourself

First of all, let’s define “self-limiting belief”. A self-limiting belief is anything you believe that:

Keeps you stuck
Causes you to focus mostly on the negatives
Makes you miss opportunities God has put in front of you
Blinds you to the blessings you have been given
Puts limitations on what God is able to accomplish through you
Prevents you from doing what you were born to do
Draws your attention to your lack rather than your abundance
Whispers to you that you are “less-than”, “not enough”, or “unworthy”
Pours cold water on the fires of your God-sized dreams

Pursing the negative “if only” keeps you from experiences the powerful “what if”. If any of these statements resonate with you, then you have some self-limiting beliefs you need to shed. Rejecting and replacing those lies with the truth is imperative to overcoming adversity and living victoriously.

5 Sources of self-limiting beliefs

How do we get weighed down by these self-limiting beliefs in the first place? Here are five possible sources for you to consider.

#1 Comments

It’s all too easy to get past comments stuck on repeat in your head. It could have been an off-handed rude remark or something that you heard repeatedly over the years. You’ve got to turn those off. Erase those tapes and don’t let someone else’s poorly thought-out criticism in the past define who you are now and who you can become in the future.

#2 Comparison

Not all the negative messages that run in our heads came from someone else. Often, we make them up ourselves by endlessly comparing what we don’t have (or think we don’t have to what we perceive others to have.) Comparison kills contentment and crushes creativity. God didn’t make you to be just like someone else. He made you to be uniquely you. As long as you’re busy trying to imitate another person, you’re missing out on the beauty and power of just being yourself. The world needs you to be you.

#3 Culture

Fish don’t know they’re wet because they’ve never been anything else. The influence our culture has on our values, desires, and assumptions is often invisible until we experience a different culture. Our culture tries to define strength, success, beauty, worthiness but God defines all those things differently. Pay attention to His Word over the world’s opinion.

#4 Commercialism

Who tells you that you stink? The people trying to sell you soap, deodorant, and perfume. They point out what we lack so they can sell us what they have. You don’t need the latest whatever as much as they try to convince you you do. God has equipped you sufficiently for every awesome thing He calls you to do. (Although, I still think it’s good to shower and brush your teeth. Analogies can only go so far.)

#5 Conspiracy

The enemy of our souls sows weeds among the good seed (Mt 13:25) by lying to us in ways we are tempted to embrace (Jn 8:44). He often uses comments, comparison, culture and commercialism to feed us his messages of defeat. All we have to do is to resist him (James 4:7). . . reject his lies, and he leaves, impotent to overcome the power that lives in us (1 Jn 4:4).

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Are you believing any of these self-limiting beliefs about yourself?

God is infinitely creative, but our enemy is not. In fact, he keeps feeding us the same lies over and over. Any of these sound familiar?

“I’m not _______ (smart, talented, attractive, strong, capable, good . . . ) enough.”
“People will think ______ about me and what they say is important.”
“It won’t work anyway. Why try? I’d rather do nothing than fail.”
“I can’t _____.”
“I’m too ______ (broke, quiet, talkative, young, old, out of shape, undisciplined.”
"My circumstances keep me from pursuing my dreams.”
“I don’t have enough _____.” (money, time, talent . . . )
“I’m unworthy.”
“Nobody wants what I have to offer.”
“I’m unloved. Nobody cares what I’m going through.”
“I could never do ____.”
“I’m alone.”
“I don’t deserve to be happy, live victoriously, or pursue my dreams.”
“I’m unwanted and rejected.”
“I am unimportant. My life doesn’t matter.”
“My past is keeping me from enjoying my present and pursuing my future.”
“I can never change.”
“If I keep my expectations low, I won’t be disappointed.”
“I have to earn God’s love and others’ approval.”
“Maybe people would be better off without me.”
“I’m not ready.”
“I can’t face ______.”
“I’ve made too many mistakes that can’t be fixed.”
“No one cares about me.”“I’ll get to it someday.”
“I don’t have any support.”
“If people knew the real me, they would abandon me.”
“People are always judging me.”
“I can’t trust anyone.”
“If my outward appearance was better, I’d have more confidence.”

Anybody else say, “Ouch!”? Those all hit close to home for me. In fact, I made most of the list by simply writing down lies I have told myself at one time or another.

The cost of believing these lies is high. Pick one of these lies you are prone to believe and then think about all the ways it keeps you from doing what you know deep inside you were created to do. How is it keeping you stuck?

Will you pray this prayer with me?

Lord, I realize now that it's not You keeping me from moving forward. I'm to blame. Help me release the fears that keep me stuck and trust you to fulfill all you have promised for my life.

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After you identify your own self-limiting beliefs, read 3 Simple Steps to Overcome Self-Limiting Beliefs to find out how to fix it!

The real reason you're stuck is your own self-limiting beliefs.

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